Handfasting is a meaningful and visual ritual during a wedding or commitment ceremony. It is the most requested unity ceremony and ritual for wedding celebrants. Here is a handfasting guide, the ultimate handfasting guide perhaps?
Where does handfasting originate from?
Handfasting is a Pagan marriage custom and has become associated with being of Norse and Celtic origin but can also be found in other religious practices. Many state it is a Celtic custom, Norse wedding ritual, and an Anglo-Saxon wedding tradition.The name handfasting is reported to originate from Old Norse and the word ‘handfesta’ which roughly translates to bind in bargain. I found this out over 14 years ago through researching, and wrote about it on my websites, blogs and socials. This information can now be found in many online sources.
Where handfasting actually originated from isn’t known.
Is Handfasting just for Pagans?
No is the simple answer. Anybody can have a handfasting, but to be handfasted is a Pagan wedding rite. During a Pagan handfasting things are done slightly differently than for non-Pagans. Available to anyone who seeks it; religious appropriation should be considered and respected if choosing to have a handfasting with some Pagan themes or content.
Handfasting for a Year and a Day
Stories in recent years claim handfasting was two ceremonies held a year and a day apart. The first ceremony was the wrapping of the hands in choice of a couple wanting to be together. Referred to by some as ‘a trial marriage’. Some accounts tell if the bride wasn’t pregnant within this time, she would be returned back to her family.
A Priest or an official person would apparently visit villages as and when, and when they visited the knot would be tied proving the union was official. If the couple decided not to continue with their union, the knot wasn’t required to be tied, and the couple would search for the next person. This is credited to be where we get the phrase ‘tying the knot’ from. There isn’t any historical proof this year and a day claim actually happened, but it makes for good storytelling.
Some Pagans choose to do ‘the year and a day’ and their knot is tied a year and a day after their hands have been bound together. Many have one ceremony only as in Pagan beliefs, handfasting is an eternal bond. What is important, is what handfasting means to those having one.
What happens during a handfasting?
The joined hands of those the ritual is for are wrapped with ribbons, rope, cords, straps, chains, strips of cloth, a scarf; whatever they want to use. Ceremonial words are said with many choosing to say vows to each other. Family members, children friends, chosen people or the celebrant will place these items and a knot will be tied.
It is important to note there isn’t a right or a wrong way to place the ribbons or to tie the knot. Searches on YouTube will show various methods and every celebrant will have their own way to do this. If you have a specific or preferred request regards placement of the cords or how the knot is tied, inform your celebrant.
After the ritual the handfasting bindings are removed and should be kept as a reminder of the ceremony.
Handfasting Celebrant
I am Ellie Farrell, a Priestess and a Pagan Celebrant who follows a Pagan path; an alternative person and the original alternative celebrant working with goth, metal, Steampunk and Pagan communities, I am also a Celebrant Trainer, and obsessed with handfasting. When I became a celebrant, I had to research handfasting as this was pre-TikTok days and there wasn’t much information about handfasting online. There weren’t any videos on YouTube, and I had to research the traditional way, by reading books, visiting historical places, museums, art galleries and seeking out manuscripts, papers and accounts in the hope of finding information about handfasting. Therer is now a lot of information online about handfasting. It is mostly replicated from other sites, with some differences.
Colour Meanings for handfasting
Any colours of materials can be used. Some choose to use their wedding colours; Pagans may choose the elemental colours. Many decide what colours they want to use by the meanings of these colours, as colours have certain attributes associated with them. An online search of the meanings of colours will show different interpretations. Choose which interpretations are important to you, or why not choose your favourite colours?
Red: passion, strength and love
Orange: encouragement, attraction and plenty
Green: fertility, prosperity and health
Blue: tranquillity, patience and devotion
Yellow: warmth, confidence and joy
Purple: richness, indulgence and sentimentality
Black: strength, wisdom and success
White: purity, peace and new beginnings
Grey: neutrality, balance and insight
Pink: unity, romance and happiness
Brown: earth, grounding and home
Silver: values, creativity and inspiration
Gold: wealth, intelligence, longevity
Making your own handfasting cords
Pagans are more inclined to make their own handfasting ribbons or cords as they are an important part of the ceremony and represent the bond you make to each other. Internet searches will give instructions and ideas on how to make your own handfasting cords, or online shops including Etsy have a varied selection with different styles, colours, materials, and decorations. Some decide to use tartan for their handfasting, which can be of family clans. Combine it with a traditional Scottish Quaich ceremony for a Celtic vibe.
How to tie a Handfasting Knot
There isn’t a right or a certain way to wrap handfasting cords, ropes or ribbons, or to tie a handfasting knot. The ‘unity knot’ and the ‘infinity knot’ aren’t required to be tied to make the handfasting acknowledged. It is about the intention, not the knot. In some Pagan handfasting rituals, the knot is mostly untied. Wrapping and knot variations differ between Priestesses, Priests, celebrants and ceremonialists. As a Celebrant Trainer of over 14 years, I teach celebrants during their training, (and those on our handfasting training course), different ways to tie wrap bindings and tie handfasting knots.
Handfasting Vows
Vows said during a handfasting ritual are similar to those said during a wedding ceremony. Handfasting vows can be said from the heart, or they can be written before the ceremony. If handfasting was a betrothal agreement between families, love wasn’t at the centre of the ritual. Marriage as we know it is a fairly new concept, especially love marriages. Love marriages have always happened, but in some eras, they were rare.
Marriage was about families joining together to secure assets, social status, form alliances, continue their bloodlines with children, suggested suitable matches and to end feuds. Handfasting was a binding ritual. In our times, handfasting is about love and commitment.What to wear for a handfasting ceremony
Anything you choose to wear is perfect for your handfasting ceremony. Pagans may favour a certain style of dress and clothing in colours associated with their beliefs. Non-Pagans who have a handfasting as part of their wedding ceremony are in their wedding attire. Like a wedding, the ceremony is an important acknowledge of the bond between those it is for, not what they are wearing. The choice is yours.
Where to hold a handfasting ceremony
It is the preferred choice from many to have their handfasting ceremony outdoors in the presence of nature. A beach, woodlands, a field, a festival wedding, a family garden, or any outdoor space makes a beautiful and natural setting for a handfasting ceremony. With the weather in the UK unpredictable, you may decide to choose an alternative place or venue should it rain on the day. Pagans favour outdoors within stone circles or in woodland settings.
When to hold a handfasting ceremony
Outdoor ceremonies usually take place late spring, summer, or early autumn. It’s your ceremony so choose the time of year which suits you. Sunrise, sunset, morning, afternoon, or evening are all considered times for handfasting ceremonies. Pagan couples choose certain times of the year such as Beltane, and some prefer sunrise to have a handfasting.
Are handfasting ceremonies legal in England and Wales?
No. Currently a handfasting ceremony or a wedding which includes one held in England or Wales isn’t currently recognised as a legal marriage. There is an exception to this and that is for Pagans when held at the Glastonbury Goddess Temple.
How Much Does a Handfasting Ceremony Cost?
Handfasting in Pagan ceremonies is a ritual, and rituals take time to prepare and action. When I design and create a Pagan wedding ceremony, I carry out certain practices and if magic is involved, spells are cast and intentions requested. This takes time and that time is reflected in the fees I charge. Pagan weddings and handfastings vary in price across the UK. Some celebrants or Pagans charge very little; some might do it for a charitable donation. My skills, knowledge, experience, proficiency, and dedication as a Priestess are also reflected within the fee.
Every ceremony I create takes time and each one is as unique as the people they are for. I do not use previous ceremonies and change names, I do not use online scripts, ceremonies created by others, or AI.
For non-Pagan weddings with a handfasting included, prices start around £995. There are celebrants who are more affordable for smaller budgets so shop around if budget is influential.
Are handfasting ceremonies just for weddings?
A handfasting can be created and performed during many kinds of ceremonies. Anniversaries, commitment, family blending and naming ceremonies have included handfasting. Handfasting is a commitment to another or others, binding them together as one.
Your handfasting guide
This ultimate guide to handfasting is one of many sources of information on my website on the subject of handfasting. I hope you have found this useful. If you would like to enquire about booking a handfasting ceremony, please contact me.
