Handfasting ceremonies
What is handfasting?
Handfasting is possibly the oldest documented recognised wedding custom. It is associated with Pagan, Neopaganism Viking/Norse, Wicca, folklore, Celtic, Judaic and Hindu weddings. Attributed to perhaps be where we get the phrase ‘tying the knot’ from. Not to be confused with ‘hand tying’, which is a simple and fast ceremony without any inclusion of rituals. Hand tyings are offered at many festivals and events which take place in the summer months. Handfasting is the wrapping of joined hands in recognition of a union. It is a symbolic and special ceremony.
Celebrant Specialising in handfasting
I have spent many years studying and specialising in various kinds of handfasting. This doesn’t mean I am a self proclaimed expert; nobody is. What it means is I can create a personalised and binding ceremony for Pagans or for non-Pagans.
A Brief History of Handfasting
Handfasting was believed to be a betrothal binding agreed upon by elders. If this is factual, handfasting had nothing to do with love; it was an agreement of a good union between the offspring of agreeing families.
Handfasting as a ritual is said to get its name from the Old Norse word ‘handfestr’ meaning to strike up a bargain; to bind. Spelling variations of the word differ with ‘handfesta’ also being used. Handfasting and its association with love is a fairly new conception, one which is accredited to have developed in the late Middle Ages when it was adopted by Christians after being introduced by Pagans.
Different cultures and religions have variations of handfasting in their belief, but the exact origins of its true history and who invented it are unknown. Many claim it comes from certain religions, but what we do know is handfasting is the Pagan wedding ritual which is still used today.
Was Handfasting an early engagement ritual?
When Handfasting became more mainstream for Christians as well as Pagans, it was a pre-wedding ritual. There are once again various sources online and in books suggesting handfasting was an engagement period before a marriage took place. Engagement and wedding rings were very expensive items and not affordable to the average person.
Strips of clothing were believed by some to be used to bind a couple’s hands together signifying to others in a village or a community, that the two people involved were betrothed to each other. Various sources state the couple were together for a year and a day before they married, to decide if they were right for each other.
If they were, they would marry, if not the knots tied were undone and they would go their own ways. Again this information isn’t credited with being correct, but it makes a nice story.
Why is handfasting popular for Pagans?
For Pagans of many beliefs, handfasting is a significant and important ceremony. Many choose to engage vows, promises and declarations of intentions as the ribbons or cords are placed. The symbolism of being bound together through choice, in the presence of the four elements, (earth, wind, fire and water), and the cardinal directions (north, south, east and west) is of high relevance. Pagans have a belief that only lack of love can break the binding between a handfasted couple; death cannot.
It is a spiritual and meaningful ceremony. Gifts are given to the couple, and ceremonies are held outdoors during selected times of the year. For Pagans, handfasting is the ultimate declaration of love between two people in the called in presence of the Goddess, or their chosen deities. Pagans looking to have a handfasting ceremony usually ask a High Priestess, Priest or coven leader, or they will seek out a Pagan celebrant.
Can non-Pagans have a handfasting?
Non-Pagans can have a handfasting ceremony yes. Focus is given to the colours chosen for the ribbons rather than the spiritual reasons designated for the colours in Pagan ceremonies. Colours have meanings which can be found in variation through online searches, or you can choose colours based on your own likes, wedding decor, themes or seasonal decor.
Handfasting ceremonies and celebrants
Handfasting is possibly the most widely requested unity ceremony request for celebrant weddings. Those seeking a handfasting ceremony over ten years ago were limited by their choices of people to perform them. Those who practised alone, or those without a specifically Pagan belief had limited options if they required a handfasting ceremony. Not anymore, as many celebrants now offer handfasting, but not all specialise in Pagan handfasting. Most offer a modern version with coloured ribbons minus any form of spiritual or Pagan belief wording.
What is Used For Handfasting?
Religious, spiritual or colour themed handfasting is the binding together of the hands of the couple or the people the ceremony is for. Different chosen colours of cords and ribbons are the most popular materials chosen and these are placed singularly or have been braided are placed around the wrists and tied in a knot around, over or under joined hands. Materials used are personal choices of those involved and some choose to use family clothing from loved ones no longer with them.chosen locations.
Family members, children or friends can be involved by placing the ribbons if required.
Decorating Handfasting cords
Many couples make and decorate their own handfasting cords. It is a symbolic occasion, and some do it during specially chosen times on relevant dates. Other couples request the cords are made for them used specific colours, some buy them online from sellers or from shops in visited places.
Charms and important trinkets and small photographs can be added to handfasting cords. Pictures of family members, pets, tokens of remembrance of important places, the initials of the couple or jewellery are often used.
Pagan Celebrant for pagan handfasting ceremonies
As a Pagan celebrant specialising in handfasting, it is the most important part of every ceremony I create. For me, it isn’t a small ritual using pretty coloured ribbons, it is the heart of, and the reason for every handfasting ritual. Each one is unique and incorporates vows and intentions, dedications and acknowledgements of deities if required. It is the traditional Pagan wedding custom and for many Pagans and people with spiritual beliefs, it is an eternal binding made through choice. Like most wedding customs and traditions, handfasting has been adapted for today’s modern society, but it’s essence, is Pagan.
